Anger is as anger does.

I had someone ask me the other day about the anger I experienced when I was first diagnoses with RA.  I was completely honest with them.  It was an anger like I’ve never experienced before.  For the first time I was mad at my body for limiting me in ways I never dreamt.

I spoke of RA’s influence on my childbearing prospects, my ability to mindfully participate in my sister’s wedding and overall how in one appointment my life was different.  People don’t often know or think about the moments that their lives turn and go a new direction.  November 2, 2011 changed my life.  It changed my dreams.  It changed my immortality outlook.

Although anger is an important part of the grieving process for anyone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness it is a scary one to accept.  You’re expected to be sad.  You’re expected to be transformed.  I’m not sure many people are aware that you’re also expected to be angry.

I’m not an expert.  All I know is that whatever situation causes you any type of emotion can be a game changer for your life.  And if you don’t deal with the feelings you’re having you might not be able to move onto the next phase of your grief.  Experience your anger.  Find a healthy outlet for it and let it process itself out of your system.  No one has a magic formula for how long this will go on.  You have to ride it out until your mind and body are ready to move on.

Find those that understand and give you strength to weather the angry storm.

xoxo,

Christi

  • Its finally warm enough to start planting outside here.
  • The puppies are shaved and so soft with their fuzzy hair coats.
  • I’m working on redoing my phone pictures and music.  I wish it was easier.  Lol.
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A Snub or Not To All Things Wedding

I’m beyond excited to start my series on everything wedding.  But first I think there are some important things you learn about me.

I never wanted a traditional wedding.  The idea of standing in front of a crowd of 500 of our closest friends and family makes me break into a panic sweat just thinking about it.  I don’t like to be the center of attention in a huge group of people.

I also plan things as a profession.  I organize, make lists and plan things all day at my job and the last thing I want to do is add yet another “project” for me to manage, organize and plan.  I’m good at it but adding another huge one in my personal life is less than appealing.

All of the dread I had leading up to Chris’ and my wedding day was so quickly diffused when the day turned out so incredible and more amazing than I could have ever dreamed of.

So, I write this for you girls who dread your wedding day; who dread 300-1000 eyes staring at you.  I believe if you follow one basic rule you’ll have the time of your life.  That rule is simply this:  MAKE IT YOUR OWN.  We are long past the days where you have to have the factory wedding that anyone, any thing or any magazine tells you to have.  You have the choice to decide what it is included and excluded.

If you still chose to elope or march yourselves down to the courthouse you have my unconditional support.  I hope you will read this series before deciding for sure because you could be a resister of all things wedding up until the very end like me and find so much more bliss and fun than you could have ever wished for.

Thank you for joining me on this series while its fresh in my mind and I wish you all of the happiness for your wedding day regardless of what you chose to do or how you design it.

xoxo,

Christi

  • I’ve had a terrible canker sore for a week now.  One of my medications makes me more susceptible to these.  If you ever have these try a product called Glyoxide.  It cleanses the area, makes it feel better and helps it heal so much faster.
  • I’m re-joining the paper planning world!!  I just ordered my very first Erin Condren planner.  Stay tuned for a post & review in the next few months.
  • I’m looking for interesting things to do with my wedding dress.  I hope to wrap that into this series as well.  Comment below with any suggestions!
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I’ve Gone Country!

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Grand Ole Opry Dressing Room #4

This past weekend some of my girlfriends and I took a trip down to Nashville.  We continued our yearly girl’s weekend trip that we started around 6 years ago.  So far we’ve seen the likes of Cancun, Chicago, Avon, CO and Nashville together.  There’s just something about experiencing a new town or place with friends that ultimately helps make that town a little part of your history together.  Somehow after 4 short days, part of our hearts were left in Nashville and Nashville will always be in our hearts.

Since one of the girls is a huge follower of country she volunteered to help us plan our outings and where we would be headed in the Music City.  With her knowledge of the area along with the in-town expertise of another girlfriend of ours we ventured around this charming southern town for 4 days and 4 nights.  I know what you’re thinking.  “Look out WORLD!  These girls are on the town!”  And, to be completely honest we were!  Although we wore ourselves out it never felt like we completely overdid any part of any day.  We made sure to rest often so we were ready for our next big adventure.

The first night we were picked up by our lovely friend who lives in the Nashville area.  She and her husband were so gracious with their time and car to help us get around town!  The best part was that she was able to join us for most of our activities!  Its always so much better to have the advice of someone who has visited the area before or who lives there when traveling.

As an unofficially trained “foodie” I was able to soak up several of the scrumptious offerings in the area.  A few places we ate at were Pharmacy Burger (http://thepharmacynashville.com) and Pinewood Social (http://pinewoodsocial.com).  Both are unique spaces and helped further our eclectic view of Nashville.  Add them to a Fall Festival in Franklin, TN with a jumbo corn dog and a refillable soda stand and I’m a happy girl.

We were able to visit the Johnny Cash museum that although not huge was so wonderful.  It is a beautifully arranged museum and tribute to the Man in Black.  We then walked around Broadway looking for the best places to venture out that night.  We ended up returning to downtown later for dinner and music.  We had such a fun time laughing, dancing, people watching and listening to the live music that just floods into the streets.

We were also treated to a show at the Grand Ole Opry by our country loving friend.  It was an early Christmas present and let me tell you we were in for a treat!  It was so fun to watch how they record the show for radio and how they mix old styles with up and coming new stars.  She also booked us backstage tours for the end of the show.  I have to admit that the tour was my favorite part of the night.  To get a glimpse into something that holds so much history and tradition was beyond what I could describe.  We were allowed to see the star’s entrance, their back TV studio that hosted the show Hee Haw, all of their themed dressing rooms, the family and we also were able to stand on the stage.

A trip full of fun and interesting sights, sounds and tastes is all I can ever want out of a girl’s weekend.  We had that and so much more.

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TV Study inside the Grand Ole Opry

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Opry Members Mailboxes

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Dressing Room

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Stars and Stripes Dressing Room, Dedicated to US Military Personnel and their Families

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Dressing Room

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Dressing Room

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Dressing Room

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Art Mural in the Family Room. The light brown line in the middle is the line of the 2010 Nashville Flood.

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He loves me. He loves me not.

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Like many others I would pick wildflowers as a girl (mostly dandelions) and take one petal off the flower at a time reciting the old “He loves me.  He loves me not.” chant.   As a lover of data to prove trends and conduct trend analysis I wish I would have taken notes on how many times I ended on “He loves me.” and how many times I ended on “He loves me not.”  It would have helped so much along the way.  I kid…I kid…

I typically include up to $20 in my grocery budget to buy fresh flowers for my house.  I like almost all flowers that are available at my local supermarket so it’s not hard for me to find something beautiful when I shop.  I find that having something living and freshly changed in my environment really helps my mood.  Every time I wake to a beautiful arrangement on my nightstand or walk by a vase filled with amazing flowers I find myself smiling.

You would think that having fresh flowers all of the time is an expensive thing.  For some $20 might be steep.  You can get a bundle of flowers at my local supermarket for as low as $4 or $5 and it’s completely worth it.  The trick is to start playing with bundles of flowers on your own from a  cheap supplier (supermarket, flower vendor, farmer’s market vendor) and create your own beautiful arrangements for your home or even gifts for others.

I am not a florist by trade, chance or by any other means.  I just keep playing with colors and arrangements until I come up with something that I love.  I keep vases that flower deliveries come in so that I have vases for my weekly/bi-weekly fresh flowers.  Think of other vessels that will work too:  mason jars, cute coffee mugs, old planters, cleaned out old candle containers  (my favorites are the Bath & Body Works containers), glasses from your kitchen…the possibilities are endless and not expensive at all.

The arrangement pictured here is made from a bundle of $10 roses and $4 daisies.  I arranged them in a square vase I received with birthday or Valentine’s Day flowers this last year.  I trimmed all of the rose stems to the same length and I trimmed the ends on an angle.  I have always heard that trimming flowers on an angle helps them last longer.  I have no idea if that is true but I do it because it can’t hurt, right?  Since the roses didn’t fill the entire vessel I used a small bundle of dyed daisies (I originally purchased them to be in their own vase) and used them to fill the middle of my arrangement.  Most bundles of flowers come with a plant food mixture. I use this food for my arrangements and find my flowers lasting a week or more.

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These beautiful little treats around the house can make such a difference.  If you can’t afford bundles of flowers to make your own arrangements consider picking wildflowers for your house.  If you want something year round consider asking someone for an indoor flowering plant for your Christmas or birthday present this year.  Outdoor plants are a great option as well if you have a long growing season.  If you’re allergic to most flowers or plants consider silk flower arrangements.  Silk flowers have come along way in the last few decades and some are simply beautiful.  Try to keep them dusted and tidy.  Nothing says old silk flowers like, well…old silk dusty flowers.

Just remember to think creatively and give yourself little gifts of life, beauty and hope in any way you can.

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xoxo,

Christi

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